If there was to be some unmitigated global disaster on some catastrophic blockbuster-style scale tomorrow – where would you pitch up? If you've got any sense, you'll head to Harrogate International Centre, says Amy Rowe.

I’m betting most of you haven’t the foggiest, and some of you might even take your chances and watch the scenes unfold from your TV sets at home, having stocked up with baked beans and ravioli from Morrisons.

Draeger's super suit

Not me. I’d be here, at the Fire and Rescue exhibition and conference in Harrogate. Sitting here at the cosy info4fire stand I’ve already planned my getaway. In front of us there’s a huge Draeger protection suit in luminous orange complete with headgear that looks flexible but solid at the same time with a zip all the way down its side. Lady GaGa, eat your heart out. The people at Draeger tell me this suit, the CPS 5900, is protective against both fire and hazardous chemicals, designed for every eventuality.

Next there’s the shoes. My summer flats won’t be much cop in a towering inferno, so I’ll take my lead from Cosalt. Their boots are made for walking, and they mean business. Come to think of it, the Scott stand next to Cosalt has some rather attractive headgear too, so I'm not going to hold back. All of Scott's breathing apparatus is geared for use in fire and protects against smoke and inhalation of chemicals. The goldplated mask is designed to protect against radiative heat.

But what about your hands, I hear you cry. Fear not, that’s sorted too. Just a little way along from the Cosalt stand I’ve seen some Eska gloves, which will give you protection if you come into contact with abrasive materials. They don’t really go with the Drager all-in-one but seeing as this could be the end of the world I’ll make an exception. The upside of all this dressing up is that it’s all designed to be super easy and quick.

The perfect getaway car by A1 4x4 Ltd

So, outfit donned, what’s next in my cheerful unmitigated disaster scenario? (Kids, this is what happens when you read too much JG Ballard.) Well if you’re already here at the Harrogate International Centre you can’t have failed to notice the mega vehicle parked at A1 4x4 Limited’s stand. It’s bright, it’s big and it’s got four wheels. It’s also got some fogging systems at the back for putting out huge fires and saving people with, something every disaster movie hero needs but doesn’t get.

Scott's breathing apparatus

But I’m being presumptuous because a land vehicle might not be the best way to go, and we could just as easily be faced with a Noah’s Ark-esque flood. It’s good then, that I have another option, which is possibly my favourite. At the Zodiac stand they’ve got their emergency rescue boat (this model was actually used in the Cumbria floods) complete with an extra inflatable-looking fuel tank. Steve, who shows me round the stand, says it only takes a minute and a half to get inflated and ready from its default position of being folded up in a bag. That’s the sort of statistic I like.

I don’t mean to be abrupt or smug-sounding, but if you’re not at the Fire and Rescue show then really, where are you? Because you’re missing out and you’ve only got until tomorrow (not even until The Day After Tomorrow). And after that, dear reader, you’re on your own.