"Unthinkingly, I droned on about enforcing authorities no longer sorting out fire precautions, but simply policing compliance"

Contrary to popular belief, I enjoy a good and close working relationship with many fire and rescue services. I like to think that there is mutual respect, albeit that, at times, it may seem more like a love-hate relationship. I sometimes describe fire safety officers as cousins, but, given that one of my cousins tried to strangle me as a child, the analogy is imperfect (or perhaps not!).

Recently, it was with great pleasure that I set off for East Anglia, where resides a fire and rescue service of long, fantastic relationship. As I left the built environment behind and waved cheerfully to the endemic inhabitants grazing in the fields, I felt the weight of dodgy enforcement notices referred to in my last blog lifting from my shoulders.

Not that my good East Anglian friends are wimps when it comes to enforcement. Indeed, I was once expert witness for one of those prosecuted (until he sacked his solicitor). I was amused to find that officers’ witness statements referred to the defendant as “an elderly and dishevelled man I now know to be Mr X”. Now, I always try to demonstrate to them by example that elderly and dishevelled men are worthwhile members of society. For their part, they always invite me back, so they clearly have no prejudice against the E&D community.

As the journey continued my thoughts turned to my first course for them. At the time, none of their officers had more than three years’ fire safety experience. Unthinkingly, I droned on about enforcing authorities no longer sorting out fire precautions, but simply policing compliance, which I described as a difficult cultural change. A young, smartly dressed officer I now know to be watch manager X said he couldn’t see the difficulty, bringing home to me that there were advantages of not carrying the baggage of the Fire Precautions Act.

However, what impressed me most was the sheer enthusiasm, interest and commitment to fire safety that existed amongst all their officers and still does. Dammit, they even read, digest, and (most dangerously of all) actually understand, all the guff we write in British Standards and the like. More frighteningly still, instead of asking what time the course will finish (the important question for most delegates on courses), they ask for interpretation of clause 21.3a) and paragraph 14.2.1.4, all of which they can recite verbatim!

Not only that, but you just could not meet a nicer bunch of people (though some risk becoming clichés); Marty is married to a control operator, while Ann was a control operator and is married to a firefighter). Marty, the boss, patiently plays along with the myth that we were on the long FP course together and that I did his course tests for him, while he engaged in nefarious activities elsewhere. Ann’s course feedback was that she was sorry she did not have time to make some cakes for me, though I was glad enough, since, in response to my control operator jokes, she had threatened to let her kids make the cakes without washing their hands!

Steve, like an American tourist, always claims to have Scottish ancestry, which he demonstrates by saying “many a mickle maks a muckle”.I always smile knowingly, though I have not the faintest idea what it means. Paul and Henry are the quiet intellectuals, who will always help me out when I get it wrong. There is the other Steve, who pretends not to be knowledgeable and then gives the game away with a real brammer of a point in discussion. Then, what can I tell you about Chris, except the allegation that he is my greatest fan (his colleagues have made him a little shrine to worship me), that he just lives and breathes fire safety, but, most important of all, he is a Killers’ fan.

You put together their fire safety ethos and their wonderful characters (the fire officers, not the Killers) and what you get is a service to the public of which their employers can be proud. This is witnessed by the fact that a member of the public actually wrote them a thank you letter...following the issuing of a prohibition notice!

Every time I work with them, I am reminded of a chief constable who claimed that the worst people to comment on the extent of crime are the police. His thinking was that, when officers spend all their time dealing with victims of crime, they have the misconception that everyone is a victim of crime. An element of a consultant’s work (though not as much as people think) involves dealing with bad enforcement; no one needs help in dealing with good enforcement. Perhaps there is hope for good enforcement, at least in this lovely corner of England’s green and pleasant land.

The course flew by, with a lot of fun and an evening out for a curry. I missed Sally, who had been sent off to some training establishment. I assumed she was carrying out the fire risk assessment that they did not have at the time of a serious fire on the site, but I understand it was for some training or other. (I am available as her expert witness for action under Human Rights legislation for the ‘cruel and unusual punishment’ of sending her there.)

I set off for home, leaving the drone of harvesters behind and thinking how polite they were to laugh at my old jokes (Q. What do you call a high reach appliance in the county? – A: a stool). I felt like a man who had been on vacation. I slept well that night, until the recurring nightmare came back...

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